Sad

At this moment in time; I feel sad, alone and worried.
I was on the bus, coming back from newmarket, i was encircled by 3 couples. They were happy and close. I miss being close to her. I miss her, I need to move on. I know i will. I want to hold someone, be held by someone. Be loved by someone, love someone back.
I feel alone, i am the only male with my namesake. If I die, so does my family name. Death is like a brother for me. It tries to kill me, but is always relieved of that chance. I should if died about 8 times, just like a cat, i mush have 9 life’s. I am on my last one. I want to tell someone, I love them. Hold them close. I dread every day, scared to die. I am not scared of dying. I am scared for the people, who live on. I want to be here, to see my family grow; my sisters, my brothers, and maybe they own kids (not for another 15 years for all of them, or i will kill them). I want her, i need her, and I can't live without her.
I am worried because i face so much. I want so much but i can only have a little of my desires.
I have a problem you see; I care more for others happiness than my own. I want everyone close to me to be happy... Before i am happy myself....


I love you...


I MISS YOU...


I WILL JOIN YOU SOON.