Hmm... should, i do this?

Basically I am bored and in desperate need of something to pass the time. Well I may use this, I may not. What do you think? Who can be sure?
We are people, with needs, and many more emotions. We as people want so much, but we either have it or we don't. Others just can't get it, is that true. Or is it, the ramblings of an old senile fool.
I say old, but i ain't old. In body and years, i have it all to come. But in mind and experiences, i am old. But I rejoice, I have friends, family and up till now, I finally know; what i want and how to get it. But the matter is, can I do what needs to be done. To get it. I say NO, I will get hurt. But that's life, I will do it. It goes against, my better judgment, but I say nay to doing jackal. I want it, so I will get it. That may sound bad, actually i know it sounds bad. But i want it, you may understand, you may not.

I will try to get it, if i fail. i will stop, no fun in tormenting ones soul.